Aside from the desire to tool around the country in an old motorhome part of the need for this journey is to clear my head. One lap of America should do this. You see, I have a decision to make. As so eloquently put by the Kinks – should I stay or should I go?
A Little History
Most people in my profession languish in obscurity for the entirety of their career. Those that garner their fair share of fame rarely do so at an early age. I’ve had opportunities laid at my feet that some would likely kill for and others would never dare dream about, all at a very young age. It would be a terrible waste to cast it aside but may lead to a level of notoriety and hence pressure that I would rather eschew. I’ve plied my trade on the world stage before and have felt the relentless scrutiny that it brings. While there is absolutely nothing quite like being at the top of your game, every now and then you’d like to be able to turn it off. The travel, exotic locations, and atmosphere are intoxicating as well as exhausting. A veritable moveable feast. It doesn’t seem like a sustainable lifestyle, yet my mentor has been doing it for decades. I do enjoy it, yet I fear that it will consume me. I want to be more than just what I do. This world that is calling me will not permit me to stay in one place and grow roots. Not to say that I’ve been looking to do just that, but I can see a time when my hair flows gray and I can no longer live the peripatetic lifestyle I have been. It would be nice to have someone to share my adventures with, as well.
Opportunity Knocks
I am the kind of guy that needs a backup plan for my backup plan’s backup plan. Therefore, career wise, I have certain things going in very different directions. They are all very interesting directions, but cannot coexist. There just isn’t enough of me to go around. The idea was that at least two of them won’t pan out leaving the third and only remaining option as my ultimate path. This is quite tidy in the sense that I’m not the one having to make the decision, I have effectively cast my fate to the wind. Well guess what, sports fans, all indicators are positive for each and every stinking direction. Turns out I really do have to make up my mind.
Towards that effect I have recently spent time trying to figure out what truly motivates me. Is it money? Not really. I’ve blown off work the last couple of weekends that would’ve generated an income that is greater than the average American family earns in a year. It’s not like I couldn’t use the cash, either. My other interests are quite expensive and have been shelved due to insufficient funds. However, I was not interested in doing it. That’s what it all comes down to. I will not do anything I don’t want to just for money, as long as I have the basics of food and shelter covered, of course. Then I spent the weekend working on a different project that I was not going to be paid for so it’s not like I took the time off.
Is it fame? I’d really rather not have everyone I meet know who I am and everything about me. I’m not hiding anything, but answering to family and friends is more than enough bother for one individual. That said, I would like some recognition for what I have accomplished. Or, at the very least, not have someone else take credit for what I have done. I get more than a little peeved when that happens.
Is it the work? That is a large part of it, I will admit. When I do what I do I am happy. I am totally engrossed in the task and all other worries melt away. All other aspects of the business are distractions, necessary dues that must be paid so you can continue to do what you love. There are so few people that have found out what it is in this world that they are here to do. Their lives are directionless and I do not envy them. I figured it out. Every time I got off track something would happen that would point me back to the right path. Now that path has reached an intersection. Every direction allows me to continue what it is I do. Which one do I take.
I know part of it is the work, what’s the remainder? The lifestyle. Spanning the globe on someone else’s dime is a wonderful thing. It affords a lifestyle that even multi-millionaires can never hope to achieve. Instead of saving up for years to see just one corner of the world, it’s your job to go there and experience it. Not only that, you get to help people while you’re at it.
Enter The Conundrum
It all sounds good, what’s the holdup? One of the reasons I set several things in motion is my need to be independent. While I may not know where the path will lead me, I know I can pick up and scoot if my present post is unfulfilling. Financial independence means I can speak my mind without fear or repercussion. Working in fear of losing your job compromises the art. I’ve managed, somehow, to free myself of that horror. If I go I may lose a significant portion of that freedom. If things go pear shaped over there it’s not that easy to come back. I will have left friends, family, and contacts in the process. If I do have to return under less than ideal circumstances I will be starting from scratch. Conundrum issue #1 is potential loss of independence, both artistic and financial.
The title of this post is The Mission. Another part of the conundrum is what I perceive as my mission in life. The world is changing rapidly and I am presently on the sidelines of history. I am not allowed to participate in certain aspects of these changes, remember that something happens to me every time I veer off course. Sometimes what happens is quite drastic, I’ll leave it at that. However, if I go then I will be able to put my talents to use in the service of others. Perhaps not initially, but within short order. On the other hand, I could possibly do similar things over here, though there’s nothing similar currently in the pipeline. So, conundrum issue #2 is figuring out which direction allows me to fulfill my mission.
Since nothing clears my head like a good road trip I decided to get the Winnie and take a lap. Get away from the daily grind to cleanse my mental palette so the day-to-day worries don’t cloud my mind.
A Little History
Most people in my profession languish in obscurity for the entirety of their career. Those that garner their fair share of fame rarely do so at an early age. I’ve had opportunities laid at my feet that some would likely kill for and others would never dare dream about, all at a very young age. It would be a terrible waste to cast it aside but may lead to a level of notoriety and hence pressure that I would rather eschew. I’ve plied my trade on the world stage before and have felt the relentless scrutiny that it brings. While there is absolutely nothing quite like being at the top of your game, every now and then you’d like to be able to turn it off. The travel, exotic locations, and atmosphere are intoxicating as well as exhausting. A veritable moveable feast. It doesn’t seem like a sustainable lifestyle, yet my mentor has been doing it for decades. I do enjoy it, yet I fear that it will consume me. I want to be more than just what I do. This world that is calling me will not permit me to stay in one place and grow roots. Not to say that I’ve been looking to do just that, but I can see a time when my hair flows gray and I can no longer live the peripatetic lifestyle I have been. It would be nice to have someone to share my adventures with, as well.
Opportunity Knocks
I am the kind of guy that needs a backup plan for my backup plan’s backup plan. Therefore, career wise, I have certain things going in very different directions. They are all very interesting directions, but cannot coexist. There just isn’t enough of me to go around. The idea was that at least two of them won’t pan out leaving the third and only remaining option as my ultimate path. This is quite tidy in the sense that I’m not the one having to make the decision, I have effectively cast my fate to the wind. Well guess what, sports fans, all indicators are positive for each and every stinking direction. Turns out I really do have to make up my mind.
Towards that effect I have recently spent time trying to figure out what truly motivates me. Is it money? Not really. I’ve blown off work the last couple of weekends that would’ve generated an income that is greater than the average American family earns in a year. It’s not like I couldn’t use the cash, either. My other interests are quite expensive and have been shelved due to insufficient funds. However, I was not interested in doing it. That’s what it all comes down to. I will not do anything I don’t want to just for money, as long as I have the basics of food and shelter covered, of course. Then I spent the weekend working on a different project that I was not going to be paid for so it’s not like I took the time off.
Is it fame? I’d really rather not have everyone I meet know who I am and everything about me. I’m not hiding anything, but answering to family and friends is more than enough bother for one individual. That said, I would like some recognition for what I have accomplished. Or, at the very least, not have someone else take credit for what I have done. I get more than a little peeved when that happens.
Is it the work? That is a large part of it, I will admit. When I do what I do I am happy. I am totally engrossed in the task and all other worries melt away. All other aspects of the business are distractions, necessary dues that must be paid so you can continue to do what you love. There are so few people that have found out what it is in this world that they are here to do. Their lives are directionless and I do not envy them. I figured it out. Every time I got off track something would happen that would point me back to the right path. Now that path has reached an intersection. Every direction allows me to continue what it is I do. Which one do I take.
I know part of it is the work, what’s the remainder? The lifestyle. Spanning the globe on someone else’s dime is a wonderful thing. It affords a lifestyle that even multi-millionaires can never hope to achieve. Instead of saving up for years to see just one corner of the world, it’s your job to go there and experience it. Not only that, you get to help people while you’re at it.
Enter The Conundrum
It all sounds good, what’s the holdup? One of the reasons I set several things in motion is my need to be independent. While I may not know where the path will lead me, I know I can pick up and scoot if my present post is unfulfilling. Financial independence means I can speak my mind without fear or repercussion. Working in fear of losing your job compromises the art. I’ve managed, somehow, to free myself of that horror. If I go I may lose a significant portion of that freedom. If things go pear shaped over there it’s not that easy to come back. I will have left friends, family, and contacts in the process. If I do have to return under less than ideal circumstances I will be starting from scratch. Conundrum issue #1 is potential loss of independence, both artistic and financial.
The title of this post is The Mission. Another part of the conundrum is what I perceive as my mission in life. The world is changing rapidly and I am presently on the sidelines of history. I am not allowed to participate in certain aspects of these changes, remember that something happens to me every time I veer off course. Sometimes what happens is quite drastic, I’ll leave it at that. However, if I go then I will be able to put my talents to use in the service of others. Perhaps not initially, but within short order. On the other hand, I could possibly do similar things over here, though there’s nothing similar currently in the pipeline. So, conundrum issue #2 is figuring out which direction allows me to fulfill my mission.
Since nothing clears my head like a good road trip I decided to get the Winnie and take a lap. Get away from the daily grind to cleanse my mental palette so the day-to-day worries don’t cloud my mind.
